So This Is What Lonely Feels Like

Since the 25th, I haven't been in the mood to do anything. I just wake up and do whatever it is that needs to be done for the day and that's it. I've just been feeling so depressed and sad about Papa that whenever I remember, I can't help but go into another round of crying.

The other day, I snapped at Henry. I knew he was just joking, but I wasn't in the mood. I felt even more bad afterwards, as I know he was just trying to cheer me up, but it wasn't just working. Ugh, when I remember how I walked out of the room and raised my voice at Henry, it makes my stomach do flips.

I didn't bother putting up a single Christmas decoration in the house either, except for one Mama gave. I'm just not in the mood to do anything. :( It's a very sad feeling, and I'm sorry for being such a bummer for my kids. Today's their Christmas party and I didn't attend. Henry's there anyway, and Keisha doesn't need company, only Nicole does. I feel really sorry for them, but I also feel sorry for myself. Eventually I know we - my mom, my sister, and I - will get over this. We will be sad still, but not gloomy anymore.