Monday, September 17, 2012

Let's Move & Let's Love

I lost my dad recently. And yes, I still say recently even though I know how to count - it's two months shy of a year.

To say I miss him is an understatement; I still hope with all my might that this is just a bad dream I will eventually wake up from, even though I know it's not. I never thought it was possible to miss someone that the thought of them actually makes your chest hurt.

All the things that happened have been hardest for my mom. I can't help but feel so sad and helpless whenever she's sad. I know it's just a natural reaction, but I hope I could somehow make her smile, or at least ease the loneliness of losing my dad.

I have to admit, my mom and I were not really in the best of terms so to speak. She was strict, I was hard-headed. We never saw things in the same way, and when I got pregnant while I was still in college, I knew I disappointed her. I guess I disappointed her so much she didn't bother attending my college graduation.

She would often say I'd understand her and the things she did when I had a child of my own. And guess what? I never thought these words would come out of my mouth (or type them), she was right.

When I had my first child, things somehow took a turn for the better. She softened up at the sight of her first grandchild, and she wasn't as stern as before. We became closer too, and we became friends. So now, with the loss of my dad, I know everyone's still hurting but I plan on calling her everyday, sending her a text message just to check on her (we live in two completely different cities), and whenever I can, visit her during the weekends. I wish we were friends sooner, even before I had a child. But I guess some lessons are learned the hard way. :)

Funny how this post is entitled Let's Move and Let's Love. I've been trying to convince her and my eldest sister to move in with me and my family for several months already so I can keep an eye out on them.


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